Texts from Last Night.com

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sandro_Bit

New member
texts from last night

(949): Dude. ****ed her last night. ****ed her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

(619): He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

(515): Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
(1-515): Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.

(443): I could have mohawked her pubes.

(409): Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
(1-409): His name should be shouldn't
 
Totally Awsome!

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
 
(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
 
(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
(1-404): Two?
(404): Two.






848): I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
 
not from the website, but hilarious the same

supposed to be sent to me from a friend of mine:
"hahahaha Dude, I ****ed her in the butt last night !!!"

only it was sent to the chick in question lol.. then he called me in a panic all" what to i do, what do i do"... she then called him and all she said was "I just don't want your friends to think less of me..." lol
 
(612): I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

(609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
(1-609): and?
(609): RIP clitoris

(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

(612): What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?

(516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
(443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

(602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
(623): What did she do!?
(602): I didn't tell her...

(763): i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
 
(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie

(813): I'm ****ing your sister right now.
(1-813): You mother****er
(813): She's next.
 
(847): I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

baaaahahahahahahaha
tabarnak que le monde est con d fois ... lol

(917): I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
OMFG TROP DROLE ...
 
(801): You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
(1-801): There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
(801): alright see you in the morning.
 
(330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
(1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

Dude. ****ed her last night. ****ed her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top