U laugh U lose

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U wot ?


I have a story I'm too ashamed to post under my real account, and it goes like this:
when I was a kid I use to take showers in a stand up shower. I liked to take sit down showers. One day I realized I could put my feet up against the wall while sitting and push my dick towards my mouth if I wedged myself in the corner. One time I actually made it, sucked my dick, and finished. Afterwards my neck hurt so bad I never did it again and I wouldn't be surprised if it permanently affected my posture.
Here's a diagram of what I'd do if you're confused

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Sucking your own dick is weird...Not just because it's not socially acceptable but, the act of doing it is also weird. One it's confusing, sometimes I get horny and think about a girl and start masturbating about her sucking my dick. Then I remember "Oh hey, I can suck my own dick, lets do it." You get all riled up and are like FUCK YEAH LETS GET HEAD. But, it takes a bit of stretching no matter how well endowed you are in order to get any sort of head-bob. So were talking at least 20-30 minutes to get going and it's hard to keep to a boner no matter how horny you are because concentrating on getting sucked and sucking is a very difficult task to juggle. By the point your dick is finally in your mouth which is cool but it doesn't really feel like getting head from a partner, its hard to describe but honestly it feels like 50% sucking a dudes dick and 50% getting your dick sucked. At this point you wonder if its worth it, but because you spent so much time getting down here you stay and honestly it gets boring because at most you can only bob your head a certain length before you just can't go any farther. Your neck and back start to hurt and you start getting brief thoughts of "Hey am I gay for doing this?" Whatever...anyways the process takes at least 3-5 times longer than regular masturbation and is physically exhausting. Then you have to figure out what to do with the cum.....hmmm. After all that it takes a little to get all stretched out to normal again and your body aches, your head hurts and forget your neck. Your dick is a little raw from so much stimulation but hey at least you gave yourself head. I suppose the worst part is when you get head from a partner no matter how good they are you know you're better. Everytime I get head now, unless she can deepthroat, I know I can out suck her any day. It's a little weird knowing I am a straight man and I can suck a dick better than 70% of the female population. Also don't try this you need to be both well endowed and flexible in order for any sort of positive result.


Fucking reddit


Sent from my iPhone 6 using Tapatalk
 
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