Couple's finances
- Thread starter seblep
- Start date
I just want to be fair for me and for her too. Im glad people are doing ratio wise. It seemed people in my entourage found that either stupid or too complicated or said something like "what a couple" but the truth is if we pay 50/50 it wont leave her fun money and one bucket will cause conflicts. I think it best to do ratios that are fair for both and maybe rebalance goods later.
lord_galathon
Well-known member
I'm not a boomer (much younger) but both our salaries go to the same account. We've been together 24 years, been like that since before we got married (20 years) but my wife and I were friends before we started dating romantically.
Yes, I'm one of the few who got out of the friend zone.
No, I'm not telling you how I did it.
For the record she makes a little more than twice my salary.
Yes, I'm one of the few who got out of the friend zone.
No, I'm not telling you how I did it.
For the record she makes a little more than twice my salary.
Je suis pas avocat.
Conjoint de fait ou marié a pas grand différence de nos jours.
normalement c'est 50/50 sur tout ce qui a été acquis pendant que vous etes conjoint de fait (1 ans de vie commune).
We hold the secret to a very special case in human sociologiy. Been friends for 11yrs been with her 4yrs the great thing about this is we both did our "stupid shit" each our side while secretly having a crush on each other worked out great!
So...it's all mathematical, and down to rations, with no space for the ethereal? I mean, how do you put value on the woman making a choice to sacrifice an aspect of her own life/career in order to carry your child? Not criticizing, just curious.
Great topic however!
Personally, having gone through one very lengthy relationship where we tried to first split, then use a bucket account for expenses, and keeping individual for ourselves, money was always an issue. I've come to the simple, for myself, rational conclusion that the only way I'm ever moving in with a woman again is if I have a plan and intention to actually build a life with her. As such, it'll be one common bucket, for all expenses, fun, etc; math doesn't lie. One bucket, and one budget, where inclusively expenses, savings, debt, "fun" money are clearly defined for each individual, and each is a line item; this way there is NO room for argument, as we're both agreeing to this from the onset; any emergency/unplanned expenses will be discussed between us, as two adults should. Yes, there is inequality in our salaries, but that is part of life, and scaling proportionately based on numerical value of salary seems more of a business transaction to me, rather than a life together.
Math~
New member
not sure if srs? she just pays for what is "necessary", ALL my extra cash goes for HER university debts, we dont have a 2k/month car or a fancy house, car is already paid (i pay for repairs, insurance and plates in 1 payment so its not monthly) and we live in an appartment. in the end its about 50/50 but we really dont care we both think its lame to put maths into a couple and its been like that for years
MrSpace
Legacy Member
She does not sacrifice any of her career for the kid, at all, she keeps getting raises, keeps her seniority and accumulating years of experience and keeps getting full pension benefits.
first, there is a father leave, mother leave and family leave. second, there is a normal and a particular "regime" you can choose. we both decided together that she would take the complete family leave and that we'd choose the regular one at one year off. That's a common decision, for her good and our child's. This means that for this full year (and same for the 2 others kids we want), I will pay a very large percentage of the rent, utility, food, fuel, baby stuff, etc. While she stays home with a smaller salary from the government.
during these years where I will pay the large part of everything, we will likely buy a few "significant" goods and she will buy her part back once she gets back to work at full salary. Otherwise, we could simply refrain from buying anything valuable during that time because I would pay most of it and she would get the benefits of using it and upon selling (I won't start to keep tabs of individual stuff we buy and the ratio we paid them!!! when we buy we split, when we sell we split). Same applies for when I was on EI without a job.. if we had to buy something significant, she would be paying most of it, where on the long run, it would be just fair for me to buy back my normal share of it. We've done it for furniture, appliances, vehicle, etc.
You might think it's unfair, but in reality it's like that for the sole purpose of being fair to both. We ar eboth 200% satisfied with that and in 5 years there wa snot even one single argument or doubt about it. We look at our friend that sometimes frown upon the other having a nicer car, or going out more, or whatever, and we appreciate even more our "system".
I pay for home (mortage, taxes, insurances, videotron), car maintenance, gas (we only have one car) and like a man i pay the restaurant hahaha (almost everytime)
She pay for kids things, foods, clothes, others necessary things and do some saving for long term project...
In the end it's something like 50/50 ... We build something together since 13 years... no more "yours" or "mine" ...
advertising don't creates new needs in ours mind... no impulsive buying ... we don't give a fuck of what others can buy on 96 months ...
She pay for kids things, foods, clothes, others necessary things and do some saving for long term project...
In the end it's something like 50/50 ... We build something together since 13 years... no more "yours" or "mine" ...
advertising don't creates new needs in ours mind... no impulsive buying ... we don't give a fuck of what others can buy on 96 months ...