Couple's finances

S

seblep

New member
Want to know how different couples manage their finances. So far,

Boomer couples first mariage = one wallet to be shared

Younger couples have different ways ie. 50/50, proportionally, 1 wallet and "whatever we can pay"

Some even go as to buy their own food and split the fridge and pantry in half...???

I was planning on going proportionally in buying a property so that it is equal and making a joint account for joint expenses still contributing proportionally. I make 3 times my girlfriends salary (she is doing a doctorat 5yrs) therefore i pay 2/3rds and she pays 1/3rd.

As we're thinking on moving we're checking out condos and i could support the mortgage by myself and still live a very decent life.

Since we have the strongest couple i know i almost want to do that but the few people ive spoken to about it think its crazy talk and she should pay her share.

Both her and i could split the cashdown 50/50 or 33/66

Also how would we split the money/profit if we moved afterwards?

Whats your situation and how do you make it work?
How long have you been with the lady?
Any suggestions of what i should do?

I want to be equal but not get fucked...
 
I had a long conversation and debate about this, and the way I see it, unless it's been 10 years+ that you're together and that you can see a very long future, everything gets split 50/50 money wise, the rest doesn't matter.

I don't think proportionally to salary is a good way to go, because that then creates a "financially dependent" person who is living above their means. As a couple, you should be living with expenses that could be covered by a single person should you split up. The only way I believe in paying by proportion, is if the items is then OWNED in proportion. So if you pay 66% of the house and her only 33%, then you own 66% of it and her only 33%.


Basically, to be in the absolute safest position possible, budget things to an amount that equals lowest earners budget. The next safest is to budget to an amount equal to double the lowest earners budget, and split it 50/50.
 
Before I was married, I used ratios as I traditionally made more money than my girlfriend.

IE: for every X revenue, Y% would be spent on expenses, the rest spent on discretionary.

For example, if you make 100K and spend 60K on expenses, your girlfriend should spend 60% of her salary on expenses with 40% going to her discretionary income.
 
One wallet is out of question for either of us... Proportionally would be the preferred way and that is exactly how we decided we would live our life as she'll eventually make more than me so she will be paying a bit more. Theoretically it all made sense, but we would have to move to a basic apartment for the rest of her doctorate when on the other hand i could afford a mortgage on my own if i were alone and am ready to do so with the job and security i have.

Unfortunately even the highest payment she can afford for her 33% when i put my 66% that is still short for all expenses (mtg, food, all services etc.) or very tight for her. Problem being i can put money aside and sill have some for enjoyment while she would have none to put aside and very little for enjoyment, she would have to dig into her savings for any "unplanned purchases".

To be honest i would hate to see her spend her savings and all.

so my options are either;

Live in an apartment paying proportionally and each keeping our downs.
Split the down payment 33/66 and go with SCHL so that she has an emergency fund pay the rest 33/66
Get myself into a mortgage and have her live with me and have her give whatever she can (which is unfair as she wouldn't have her name anywhere...)

Be a nice guy and a fool or be greedy but smart... or and apartment for 5 yrs (it'd have to be under 750$ or else buying is better in a 5yr timeframe)
 
she pays the condo/taxes and condo fees..i pay the credit card...( we have 2 cards linked to one acount)...it works very well..even if i pay more than her at the end f the month..but my salary > then her salary ..so it works out...this scenario is the best aa long as there's no abuse on either side..
 
Buy alone, charge rent.

Like you buy the condo and charge her half your current rent.

If you really feel like going out of your way set up a contract with a purchase option so the money she spent on rent can go towards buying half the condo later on.
 
if you buy and pay the mortgage and let her pay the rest, she's getting screwed royally because if you split, you get everything she gets nothing (since you're not married). being in her place I would never accept this.

I've had the same issue in the past where we both had times where one of us was on EI and our salaries would be variable. Here's the only way to be completely fair to both, but it's more complicated until both have a stable salary/job (i.e. when she gets her real job). When you both have jobs, then you simply pay at the ratio of your salaries...

So we split normal expenses (utility, rent, food, medicine, insurance, fuel, etc) according to the ratio of our salaries at the time. So when she was on EI I would pay like 85% of the monthly bills and when I was on EI she would pay 55%). This allows both to pay according to their current ability and also it left my debt to myself and let her saving to herself.

We split durable goods, that have a resale value, even if it depreciates (house, car, furniture, electronics, etc) according to our current salaries but we write these down so that once we both have our permanent jobs we can rebalance according to this fixed and permanent split %.

Once we both have permanent stable jobs (should be next month, after 5 together years splitting at various rates), we'll have our split % (likely something like 60/40), she will repay me the unbalance from the durable goods as in the past I have more often paid a higher percentage. After that, it will be very easy to do finances as we'll simply split everything at that ratio.. and if we ever split, then I get 60% of everything we sell/split and she gets 40%.

The good thing about this is that we can do what we want with our leftovers, and buy stuff that the other would not want us to buy together (like my tools, or electronics, or maybe a vintage car). Also, let's say we want to go on vacation, I will pay 60% of the trip and she would pay 40%, this means I actually pay some of her trip, but it's the exact same effort to save that money as it's a ratio. It would be unfair to do 50/50 as she would never have any leftovers and I would make a bunch of cash on her back.

I use Quicken to track everything and a simple excel file for the durable goods (that I won't need as soon as we're rebalanced).

It has worked for 5 years, and will work forever. We both don't believe in the "put it all in one basket" thing because it WILL create friction one day or another... I cringe when she pays $200 for haircut or clothing sprees... she doesn't like when I buy tools or an expensive gadget.... with a ratio split, I can do what I want with my money left and she can do what she wants... of course, my leftover is larger than hers.
 
Shit that was a long reply. But its way simpler than it looks heheh

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2
 
MrSpace said:
if you buy and pay the mortgage and let her pay the rest, she's getting screwed royally because if you split, you get everything she gets nothing (since you're not married). being in her place I would never accept this.

I've had the same issue in the past where we both had times where one of us was on EI and our salaries would be variable. Here's the only way to be completely fair to both, but it's more complicated until both have a stable salary/job (i.e. when she gets her real job). When you both have jobs, then you simply pay at the ratio of your salaries...

So we split normal expenses (utility, rent, food, medicine, insurance, fuel, etc) according to the ratio of our salaries at the time. So when she was on EI I would pay like 85% of the monthly bills and when I was on EI she would pay 55%). This allows both to pay according to their current ability and also it left my debt to myself and let her saving to herself.

We split durable goods, that have a resale value, even if it depreciates (house, car, furniture, electronics, etc) according to our current salaries but we write these down so that once we both have our permanent jobs we can rebalance according to this fixed and permanent split %.

Once we both have permanent stable jobs (should be next month, after 5 together years splitting at various rates), we'll have our split % (likely something like 60/40), she will repay me the unbalance from the durable goods as in the past I have more often paid a higher percentage. After that, it will be very easy to do finances as we'll simply split everything at that ratio.. and if we ever split, then I get 60% of everything we sell/split and she gets 40%.

The good thing about this is that we can do what we want with our leftovers, and buy stuff that the other would not want us to buy together (like my tools, or electronics, or maybe a vintage car). Also, let's say we want to go on vacation, I will pay 60% of the trip and she would pay 40%, this means I actually pay some of her trip, but it's the exact same effort to save that money as it's a ratio. It would be unfair to do 50/50 as she would never have any leftovers and I would make a bunch of cash on her back.

I use Quicken to track everything and a simple excel file for the durable goods (that I won't need as soon as we're rebalanced).

It has worked for 5 years, and will work forever. We both don't believe in the "put it all in one basket" thing because it WILL create friction one day or another... I cringe when she pays $200 for haircut or clothing sprees... she doesn't like when I buy tools or an expensive gadget.... with a ratio split, I can do what I want with my money left and she can do what she wants... of course, my leftover is larger than hers.
Click to expand...

how do u handle expensive vacations? if she has less money put aside to pay her side..u will need to downgrade just because she cannot follow...
 
MrSpace said:
if you buy and pay the mortgage and let her pay the rest, she's getting screwed royally because if you split, you get everything she gets nothing (since you're not married). being in her place I would never accept this.

I've had the same issue in the past where we both had times where one of us was on EI and our salaries would be variable. Here's the only way to be completely fair to both, but it's more complicated until both have a stable salary/job (i.e. when she gets her real job). When you both have jobs, then you simply pay at the ratio of your salaries...

So we split normal expenses (utility, rent, food, medicine, insurance, fuel, etc) according to the ratio of our salaries at the time. So when she was on EI I would pay like 85% of the monthly bills and when I was on EI she would pay 55%). This allows both to pay according to their current ability and also it left my debt to myself and let her saving to herself.

We split durable goods, that have a resale value, even if it depreciates (house, car, furniture, electronics, etc) according to our current salaries but we write these down so that once we both have our permanent jobs we can rebalance according to this fixed and permanent split %.

Once we both have permanent stable jobs (should be next month, after 5 together years splitting at various rates), we'll have our split % (likely something like 60/40), she will repay me the unbalance from the durable goods as in the past I have more often paid a higher percentage. After that, it will be very easy to do finances as we'll simply split everything at that ratio.. and if we ever split, then I get 60% of everything we sell/split and she gets 40%.

The good thing about this is that we can do what we want with our leftovers, and buy stuff that the other would not want us to buy together (like my tools, or electronics, or maybe a vintage car). Also, let's say we want to go on vacation, I will pay 60% of the trip and she would pay 40%, this means I actually pay some of her trip, but it's the exact same effort to save that money as it's a ratio. It would be unfair to do 50/50 as she would never have any leftovers and I would make a bunch of cash on her back.

I use Quicken to track everything and a simple excel file for the durable goods (that I won't need as soon as we're rebalanced).

It has worked for 5 years, and will work forever. We both don't believe in the "put it all in one basket" thing because it WILL create friction one day or another... I cringe when she pays $200 for haircut or clothing sprees... she doesn't like when I buy tools or an expensive gadget.... with a ratio split, I can do what I want with my money left and she can do what she wants... of course, my leftover is larger than hers.
Click to expand...

You sir are doing exactly what my girl and i spoke about. Im financially smart and thats the whole reason why its so hard to decide. However like you said when she gets her real job itll be easy but for now its a little revenu
 
When my wife worked, we'd do 50\50, it really depends though since i always insist on paying :p. Now shes a stay at home mom, so Its 100\0 :p.

It really depends on the item and how much each of us will it, if its more for her she would pay the bigger %, and vice versa, simple as that, no need to keep a spreadsheet... thats just psycho.
 
when me and my ex lived together we had a joint account for all household expenses and we would split it 50/50
then we have our own accounts
 
rebel said:
how do u handle expensive vacations? if she has less money put aside to pay her side..u will need to downgrade just because she cannot follow...
Click to expand...

we split a vacation just like the rest, unless we would go alone by our side... we went for a full month to southeast asia last year, the trip was like $8-10k total. let's use $10k as an example for easy numbers.

so I ended up paying $6k and she paid $4k.

for me to save $6 k is exactly the SAME effort than for her to save $4k. if I make $60k a year after tax, it's a 10% effort/cut, if she makes $40k a year after tax, it's also a 10% effort/cut.

if she wants to go on her own, then she uses her leftover money, just like when she buys clothing, night out with her friends, etc.
 
RMachucaA said:
When my wife worked, we'd do 50\50, it really depends though since i always insist on paying :p. Now shes a stay at home mom, so Its 100\0 :p.

It really depends on the item and how much each of us will it, if its more for her she would pay the bigger %, and vice versa, simple as that, no need to keep a spreadsheet... thats just psycho.
Click to expand...

my girlfriend is due in a month. During the mat leave, we'll rebalance the regular expenses to a different split as she will have less income. Our 60/40 will become maybe 70/30 or 75/25

during that whole year, I will pay 70% of insurance, fuel, food, utility, restaurants, etc. For common durable goods she will pay 30% when we buy it, but after mat leave when she's back full salary she will rebalance and pay me back the 10% so that in the long term, she will still own 60% of everything we have. Our philosophy is that the durable goods could have been bought at any other time, so that's why we both insist on rebalancing. When one of us was on EI, we still had to buy expensive stuff so it would've been unfair to have one partner pay the big chunk just because we had to buy a $3k item during that specific timeframe.
 
By answering this question you will have your answer.

How do you view your relationship?

a) 2 people living 1 life together (proportional to salary, not looking at that and just putting all the money in the same account and living on the total budget)

b) 2 people each living their own life and sharing a major aspect of it with each other (50/50 on mandatory expenses and everything else you each keep to yourself)
 
proportionnel au salaire. 2/3 -- 1/3 (je fais le double de ma blonde)
tout dépense budgetté dans compte commun et chacun transfert ce qui est budgetté dans le compte commun.
Le reste on en parle, mais ca se resume a la proportion anyways.

Les surplus: je les brule a mon gré et elle aussi.

Si séparation: 50/50...pour un hypotheque et legalement c'est 50/50 anyways..sinon tu doit notarié presque tout..ca qui a pas de bon sens.

Mettre tout a 50/50 serait ridicule: je vivrais comme un roi (~ a pu savoir quoi faire avec mon argent...dans le sens que si on achete une maison selon son budget ) et elle serait toujours égorgé ou presque.

En bout de ligne j'accumule quand meme le double d'elle en "surplus"...ce qui fait qu'on peut faire des dépense commune dans les meme délai si il y a besoin (voyage).

dans le cas d'un 3fois le salaire de l'autre: la répartition devrait être 3/4 -- 1/4.

Ce qui complique les chose : c'est si 1 des 2 a des dettes, et l'autre pas par example......la c'est une autre histoire!

discutez-en et trouver un terrain d'entente. ...sinon votre couple marchera jamais.....l'argent: ca fait pas le bonheur, mais les probleme d'argent : ca ammène la chicane.
 
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