Who hasn’t had a mouth full of cum at some point of their life? Whether you spit, swallow or gargle you will always be left with that undeniable dick taste after you take your lover in your mouth. Most of the time it’s not always a pleasant taste either. It’s either too salty, too sweaty, or it just tastes like shame. But never fear! Thanks to Paul “Fotie” Photenhaue’s new Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook the taste of semen can be drastically improved. It’s literally a book filled with drink recipes to make the perfect, cum cocktail.
Fotie’s first book Nature’s Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes was very well received when it was released back in 2008—and the sales propelled him to travel the world and find new ways to infuse semen and gastronomy. This led to more experimenting, and his new book that teaches its reader the unconventional art of semen-based mixology. I must admit, the more I read Semenology the less nauseous I became. It’s intriguing stuff. It got me wondering why it was considered somewhat haute couture for a pub in New Zealand to serve horse cum shots but the idea of drinking human semen outside of a blowjob scenario is a disgusting concept.
Maybe it’s because we’re all so hyper aware of sexually transmitted diseases or maybe we’ve just had one too many encounters with a bad dick? I’m not sure, and maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see a problem with mixing myself up a “Watermelon Gin Jizz” while I curl up on my couch and watch Sex and the City after a nice romp in the bedroom.
I called up Fotie for a chat and he put all my doubts aside when he explained: “We eat eggs, which is chicken menstruation, and milk, which is cow secretion. That’s pretty disgusting. Semen is fresh and you know who the producer is.” That quote alone inspired me to throw my own cum cocktail party; so I called up some guys who wanted to donate their semen and some girls that wanted to drink said semen, and us ladies got wasted on jizz.