or you can chose me and you just need to tell me what I need to know and how hard I need to work and I promise you that:
1. I won't know shit and barely read through any sort of documentation, but learn the keywords that everyone seems to be using around the office and in the business.
2. I probably wont do a quarter of the work that you would expect me to do, but that part will be done pretty good, cause well it will probably be the only thing I'll ever know about the business/product
3. Even taking into account points 1 and 2 I'll either attract new talent (if manager and part of the resp), or maybe make some sales of our existent products, by just making one stupid change that everyone will think it's stupid, but hey so is the client and so am I, so in the end I'll make the sale and a shit a load of money to the company, cause I can speak well and use those keywords so damn good, also I will suck cock if I have to....
4. Take into account that one you'll give me an important position (VP of some shit), I'll apply for triple the salary even if it's your competitor and as before, even if I don't know wtf I'm doing, I'll go there, you'll get 0 loyalty from me, even if you helped build my career (and you let me fucked your wife, or at least that's what she said
5. I can go on, but I think you get the point, so just send me the offer by pm, not expecting anything under 230 000$/year + some nice bonus, however if you think I'm not a good fit and all don't stress with that, I'll show you how wrong you are...
^
Edit, you know what sucks as "funny" or not as it is, this guy will make it, however a hard working guy that actually has some "values" and "respect" for people around him, will well end up like me...