Big Money Problems

back a while ago i had a very rough year and a series of shits happenend all at once
engine blew in my car, lost my job because the job literally closed (not my fault)
first gf left me and i lived at her place so did not have any furniture and shits ...
my best friend who was always better with money and had just inherited money wanted to pass me 5k to buy a car so i could go work ( live on north shore)

i didnt want to but one day i said ok... worst mistake .. he said pay me whenever you can .

i always tried to give him at least 300$ or more every month .
but one day he needed some money to buy whatever shit and started putting pressure .. i was like ok i understand its your money ( had like 1200 left to pay) but dude i dont have it, you said take your time and i think i was fair buy not skipping months and always giving at least 350 400

it kinda broke the relationship, didnt wanna go to partys where he was because he would only talk about that and ruin the night , sending me texts at like 8pm on sundays just enough to have me sleep like shit and start a sucky week...

dont deal with friends
 
Je dirais non, si jamais tu veux vraiment le faire, essaie de l'endosser sur un prêt à la banque au lieu de lui passer le cash (tu restera quand même responsable en défaut de paiement par contre)...
 
Flashiel said:
les banques traditionnelles sont pas une option a cause de son niveau d'endettement.
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Quand tu vas y prêter ton 10K ton bon ami sera juste une connaissance qui va vite t'avoir oublié, y'a surement une entreprise pas sketch de ' debt settlement ', je l'aiderais plus a se trouver un bon conseiller.
 
Don't do it. If you are gonna do it then consider it gone and given away. If not you will lose the friend.
Been there done that. I lended 3k to a friend because break up with his gf, less hour at work, can't afford the full rent since gf gone, etc
He needed 3k, and i lended it to him without question. He swore to me he will pay me back in 3 month.
3 month goes by, he calls me, he needs little bit more time. I told him not to worry, and I gave him another 3 month because I didn't want him to be stressed about it. Another 3 month goes by, this time i call him, he doesn't have full amount yet. I asked him he can give me whatever he saved up, or if not he can just pay me certain fixed amount every week that he doesnt need to try to gather total amount one shot. He says he'd rather give me full amount one shot. he says he has most money saved up, needs 1 more week. I say sure. 1 week later he calls me and say he had an emergency and had to use the savings so he needs more time. I said ok, i give him another 3 month. 3 month pass by, surprise surprise, still no money. Instead he says he is going to a music festival in ottawa and wants me to join. So at that point i was like wtf, you got no money and you are going to a festival for few days? That's basically my money you are spending right there lol. So i started to tell him fuck that you need to start paying me, you initially told me 3 month and we are at about 9 month mark and I haven't seen a cent.
We got into an argument and basically he called me cold hearted, that I care more money than the friendship, that I make much more than him etc etc. At that point I didn't give a fuck anymore so I pushed him to pay me full next week.
Like a fucking miracle he paid me full next week. Somehow I became the bad guy when I
A) lend him money when he was desparate, with no interest, with no question
B) extended time to 9 month instead of his initial 3 month he swore to

Needless to say that was the last time I ever dealed money with friends. It was the first time and last time a friend asked me for money. Never happened between my friends. And I learned my lesson.

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bigcortex said:
Never lend money you’re not prepared to give away.

Apply this philosophy to everyone, including (especially) family.
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Yup I think the same way that's why the really few times in my life my friends asked I gave them an excuse not to, up until recently where I knew the guy was really having a hard time and gave me a few Gs… will I see that money back? I have no idea.

infinite said:
Don't do it. If you are gonna do it then consider it gone and given away. If not you will lose the friend.
Been there done that. I lended 3k to a friend because break up with his gf, less hour at work, can't afford the full rent since gf gone, etc
He needed 3k, and i lended it to him without question. He swore to me he will pay me back in 3 month.
3 month goes by, he calls me, he needs little bit more time. I told him not to worry, and I gave him another 3 month because I didn't want him to be stressed about it. Another 3 month goes by, this time i call him, he doesn't have full amount yet. I asked him he can give me whatever he saved up, or if not he can just pay me certain fixed amount every week that he doesnt need to try to gather total amount one shot. He says he'd rather give me full amount one shot. he says he has most money saved up, needs 1 more week. I say sure. 1 week later he calls me and say he had an emergency and had to use the savings so he needs more time. I said ok, i give him another 2 month. 2 month pass by, surprise surprise, still no money. Instead he says he is going to a music festival in ottawa and wants me to join. So at that point i was like wtf, you got no money and you are going to a festival for few days? That's basically my money you are spending right there lol. So i started to tell him fuck that you need to start paying me, you initially told me 3 month and we are at about 9 month mark and I haven't seen a cent.
We got into an argument and basically he called me cold hearted, that I care more money than the friendship, etc etc. At that point I didn't give a fuck anymore so I pushed him to pay me full next week.
Like a fucking miracle he paid me full next week. Somehow I became the bad guy when I
A) lend him money when he was desparate, with no interest, with no question
B) extended time to 9 month instead of his initial 3 month he swore to

Needless to say that was the last time I ever dealed money with friends. It was the first time and last time a friend asked me for money. Never happened between my friends. And I learned my lesson.

Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk
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I think most of the people that need money so urgently are usually bad with money managing and just like your episode I know someone who lost his friend the same way, he was nice but when he asked his money back, the thousand excuses and later called him a asshole for caring about the money rather than the friendship... hell no.
 
D_Accord said:
Yup I think the same way that's why the really few times in my life my friends asked I gave them an excuse not to, up until recently where I knew the guy was really having a hard time and gave me a few Gs… will I see that money back? I have no idea.



I think most of the people that need money so urgently are usually bad with money managing and just like your episode I know someone who lost his friend the same way, he was nice but when he asked his money back, the thousand excuses and later called him a asshole for caring about the money rather than the friendship... hell no.
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It's true, i lived it first hand lol
Next time if I have to help a friend or family, i will just consider it gone in my head. He wasn't within the circle of my best friends but a good friend. And I lost him now.
Between my best friends we know we don't deal money between friends. So never happened before.

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Lending money to friends is always a fucking fine pain in the ass. i wont lend him the 10k and what sucks though is that he knows as much as i do that i can afford it. so its like basically telling him to fuck off and fuck his credit score. its basically the first time in my life that i formally turn a friend down for a meaningful amount. i dont like doing it. but over the years, i learned that what i hate even more is lending money and never getting it back while fucking friendships. Every time im analyzing a great investment idea, i think to myself, Jesus!, i cant wait to deploy my capital over there, im gonna make a killing. Meanwhile, the phone rings and i have these people that i know and care about bumming me about money that i know could be much better used somewhere else.
On average, i recovered less than 20% of the money i lent out. Every time, i tell myself its probably going to be the last time because it always drags into fucking oblivion because i really hate to bring up the topic. When people repay me whatever portion, im always genuinely fucking surprised. Almost to the point of thinking; what the hell is this? hes actually repaying me!? And like people were saying above, its a huge fuck you when those friends owing you money and not paying you a dime yet they show up at that party with a shiny new phone. its like well...thanks dude. nice phone! is it mine?

but if he knows you can easily afford it, just like in my situation, it becomes a huge no-win situation. if you say no, youre much better off financially, because lending money to friends always makes zero financial sense from the lenders perspective (its always a favor), but your friendships takes a huge hit. If you say yes, youre suddenly much worse off financially, but your friendship gets a temporary boost, so thats nice, but later on it will be exposed to a huge risk of deteriorating.

ill never stop making friends, and ill always have some money to my name so i will always be exposed to that bullshit.
 
Flashiel said:
Lending money to friends is always a fucking fine pain in the ass. i wont lend him the 10k and what sucks though is that he knows as much as i do that i can afford it. so its like basically telling him to fuck off and fuck his credit score. its basically the first time in my life that i formally turn a friend down for a meaningful amount. i dont like doing it. but over the years, i learned that what i hate even more is lending money and never getting it back while fucking friendships. Every time im analyzing a great investment idea, i think to myself, Jesus!, i cant wait to deploy my capital over there, im gonna make a killing. Meanwhile, the phone rings and i have these people that i know and care about bumming me about money that i know could be much better used somewhere else.
On average, i recovered less than 20% of the money i lent out. Every time, i tell myself its probably going to be the last time because it always drags into fucking oblivion because i really hate to bring up the topic. When people repay me whatever portion, im always genuinely fucking surprised. Almost to the point of thinking; what the hell is this? hes actually repaying me!? And like people were saying above, its a huge fuck you when those friends owing you money and not paying you a dime yet they show up at that party with a shiny new phone. its like well...thanks dude. nice phone! is it mine?

but if he knows you can easily afford it, just like in my situation, it becomes a huge no-win situation. if you say no, youre much better off financially, because lending money to friends always makes zero financial sense from the lenders perspective (its always a favor), but your friendships takes a huge hit. If you say yes, youre suddenly much worse off financially, but your friendship gets a temporary boost, so thats nice, but later on it will be exposed to a huge risk of deteriorating.

ill never stop making friends, and ill always have some money to my name so i will always be exposed to that bullshit.
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^you can keep your finances private without having to lie and even though friends would notice the nice stuff you have, they wouldn't actually know how much you have versus how much you borrowed, etc... so just stop bragging about your cash/income to your friends and it should be fine, if you need to brag, than welcome to montreal racing
 
Ok so why you tell tour friends how much money you have or tell things about your finances? Thats the first mistake

Отправлено с моего CLT-L04 через Tapatalk
 
Flashiel said:
Lending money to friends is always a fucking fine pain in the ass. i wont lend him the 10k and what sucks though is that he knows as much as i do that i can afford it. so its like basically telling him to fuck off and fuck his credit score. its basically the first time in my life that i formally turn a friend down for a meaningful amount. i dont like doing it. but over the years, i learned that what i hate even more is lending money and never getting it back while fucking friendships. Every time im analyzing a great investment idea, i think to myself, Jesus!, i cant wait to deploy my capital over there, im gonna make a killing. Meanwhile, the phone rings and i have these people that i know and care about bumming me about money that i know could be much better used somewhere else.
On average, i recovered less than 20% of the money i lent out. Every time, i tell myself its probably going to be the last time because it always drags into fucking oblivion because i really hate to bring up the topic. When people repay me whatever portion, im always genuinely fucking surprised. Almost to the point of thinking; what the hell is this? hes actually repaying me!? And like people were saying above, its a huge fuck you when those friends owing you money and not paying you a dime yet they show up at that party with a shiny new phone. its like well...thanks dude. nice phone! is it mine?

but if he knows you can easily afford it, just like in my situation, it becomes a huge no-win situation. if you say no, youre much better off financially, because lending money to friends always makes zero financial sense from the lenders perspective (its always a favor), but your friendships takes a huge hit. If you say yes, youre suddenly much worse off financially, but your friendship gets a temporary boost, so thats nice, but later on it will be exposed to a huge risk of deteriorating.

ill never stop making friends, and ill always have some money to my name so i will always be exposed to that bullshit.
Click to expand...
If you got fucked over often then you have the perfect excuse/reason not to lend that friend 10k.
Tell him that you are done making same mistake again and say you do no money with friends.
But either way that friend is most likely gone. The moment you ask friend money in those context the friendship is no more.

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CuddlyJen said:
Riiiiight....
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5207c784f5a57de1bd56e968559381484b2b.jpeg
 
Jamais prêté de l'argent à des amis mis à part des 20 $ lorsqu'on avait 17-18 ans.

Aussi je serais gêné de leur quêter de l'argent.

Il serait peut-être temps de changer ton cercle d'amis si tu es leur prêteur officiel. C'est pas normal, ça peut mal finir.
 
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