F*** my Life - Sex Stories
- Thread starter Sandro_Bit
- Start date
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FordFocusEffect
New member
fallout
New member
lol
OMG rolf that happened to me once but it was rade and w40 lmfao!!!
Fred..
New member
bahaha made me LOL at work!
Julteg1
New member
:laugh
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
SL!nky.Ako
Well-known member
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
HEHE did the same but the other way around ... the girl left and you could clealy see in her eye the : hehe yhea bullshit kid
...
HEHE did the same but the other way around ... the girl left and you could clealy see in her eye the : hehe yhea bullshit kid
...
Satana
New member
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father proceeds to say "we know who's meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father proceeds to say "we know who's meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Ron Popeil 5un4
New member
pearl necklace:
the glorious culmination of tit-fucking, in which you blow your nuts out all over a girl's tits, shoulders, neck, and, with any luck, chin. one of the highest expressions of love and affection bestowable upon a woman by a man.
Dashing Gent: Hey, I bet you'd look good in a "pearl necklace."
Big-Titted Dreamboat: Why, yes, I supposed you're right. Why don't you come on over to my place and baste my torpedo tits and elegant neck with your steaming hot man goo?
source: urbandictionary
the glorious culmination of tit-fucking, in which you blow your nuts out all over a girl's tits, shoulders, neck, and, with any luck, chin. one of the highest expressions of love and affection bestowable upon a woman by a man.
Dashing Gent: Hey, I bet you'd look good in a "pearl necklace."
Big-Titted Dreamboat: Why, yes, I supposed you're right. Why don't you come on over to my place and baste my torpedo tits and elegant neck with your steaming hot man goo?
source: urbandictionary
Falcon007
Well-known member
Voici une de moi quand j'avais 17ans et inexpérimenté lol!
J'étais à un party que mon cousin m'avait invité et je dois avouez que lorsque j'avais cette age j'étais fucking gêner avec les femmes et en plus je connaissais personne à part mon cousin! Donc plus la soirée avance plus je bois et je me surprend même a invité ceux qui veule à un jeux d'alcool avec des cartes.
Bref une chix vien s'assoir à côté de moi et étant rendu pasmal chaud on se met à jaser, plus la soirée avancait plus on avait du fun. Finalment il était rendu tard et le monde s'en vont de plus en plus, mais moi j'étais en char et seul donc c'est clair que je restais à coucher et elle aussi était dans la même situation. Elle me dit qu'elle avait déjà réserver la chambre d'ami car elle savait quelle allait probablement être trop fini pour conduire et elle me dit que si je veux je peux venir dormir avec elle ( lit simple lol ) à place de dormir sur le sofa!
Anyways fastforward, je suis en boxer dans le lit avec elle et veut veut pas on est ds un lit simple feck on est coller, so on commence à se toucher, jy passe le doigt, la jtai fier elle aimait bin sa et moi ds se temps la javais pas grand expériance lol! tk feck la a commence à me faire une crosette et moi jy matte la plote et les seins stai facilement du 36D et a 17 ans pas besoin de vous dire que stai sa coche en criss feck jtai exiter en sale et la plus sa allait plus on avait du fun, mais la elle était comme rendu trop intense et la bamm J.I.M.P !!
La chu comme ho fuck et on dirait jai débuzer d'une shot j'ai fait attend minute faut j'aille au toilette... J'avais tellement honte que j'ai pris mes trucs et j'ai crisser mon camp les boxers remplies. FML
J'étais à un party que mon cousin m'avait invité et je dois avouez que lorsque j'avais cette age j'étais fucking gêner avec les femmes et en plus je connaissais personne à part mon cousin! Donc plus la soirée avance plus je bois et je me surprend même a invité ceux qui veule à un jeux d'alcool avec des cartes.
Bref une chix vien s'assoir à côté de moi et étant rendu pasmal chaud on se met à jaser, plus la soirée avancait plus on avait du fun. Finalment il était rendu tard et le monde s'en vont de plus en plus, mais moi j'étais en char et seul donc c'est clair que je restais à coucher et elle aussi était dans la même situation. Elle me dit qu'elle avait déjà réserver la chambre d'ami car elle savait quelle allait probablement être trop fini pour conduire et elle me dit que si je veux je peux venir dormir avec elle ( lit simple lol ) à place de dormir sur le sofa!
Anyways fastforward, je suis en boxer dans le lit avec elle et veut veut pas on est ds un lit simple feck on est coller, so on commence à se toucher, jy passe le doigt, la jtai fier elle aimait bin sa et moi ds se temps la javais pas grand expériance lol! tk feck la a commence à me faire une crosette et moi jy matte la plote et les seins stai facilement du 36D et a 17 ans pas besoin de vous dire que stai sa coche en criss feck jtai exiter en sale et la plus sa allait plus on avait du fun, mais la elle était comme rendu trop intense et la bamm J.I.M.P !!
La chu comme ho fuck et on dirait jai débuzer d'une shot j'ai fait attend minute faut j'aille au toilette... J'avais tellement honte que j'ai pris mes trucs et j'ai crisser mon camp les boxers remplies. FML
newschooler
Legacy Member
holy shiat. Le genre de chose qui se passerais différament si tu revenait en arriere.
Moi j'ai refusé un trip a trois (moi et 2 chix) a 21 ans car je venais de me faire une blonde et je voulais etre fidele. 6 ans plus tard je suis toujours avec alors on peut dire que ca valait la peine mais QUAND MEME. 6 ans plus tard j'y repense toujours lol
TheGodZ
Corruption
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-]emile[-
New member
Today, it was my girlfriends birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
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