So which is it? You admitted to driving fast in the past but you don't drive fast? I'm just calling you a douche because you come online to create a thread to find someone to find them and physically beat them up. I could care a less that you're parked on two lines in a empty parking lot. BUT
The main question is, why did someone key your car for simply no reason.. I'm basing it on you did drive like a douche on a nice sunny day trying to impress your co worker, most likely cut some guy off who was having none of it and karma came back to bite you in the ass. Just creating a thread online to cry wolf further implies you're a douche.
And people calm down with the sand in your vagina over the "typical BMW driver" remarks the world isn't going to end.